Have ever been in a relationship where your partner consistently complains about you and/or about the things that you do? Or, did they maybe just make subtle comments but you knew they really meant it? These careless acts play on your insecurities and you may have found that you were changing the things about yourself that they were complaining about or commenting on in an effort to avoid the criticism and/or comments. They might have also threatened to end your relationship if you didnt change. You may have convinced yourself because you love the person it is a valid and good enough reason to want to change for them. The bottom line is that it is fear on some level that causes you to change for someone else and not love. Changes, no matter how big or small, are not appropriate if they are for someone else. Any time you change anything about yourself to please another, it will have negative consequences. The moment you change one thing, you may be asked to change another and another and another until there comes a point when nothing you do or say is good enough. You will find that a relationship where you are required to change in an effort to make it work will not survive long term. Whatever you do from here on out, dont change for anyone else but yourself! If you do, it will backfire at some point because you are, essentially, squashing the spirit of your true self. Eventually, those aspects of yourself that you thought you had changed will be doing whatever it takes to express themselves. The essence of your true nature cannot and will not be held down for long. More than likely, these changes that you initially made from love will manifest as anger and resentment towards your partner for whom you did the changing for in the first place. If they dont like who you are, that is not your problem, it is theirs. Remind yourself that you choose who you want to be with and vice versa. And gently remind them that if those things bother them so much, maybe you both should consider the possibility that the relationship wont work out because you respect yourself. And that means that you wont change to fit someone elses idea of what the perfect partner should be like. You are who you are and if they dont like it, they dont have to be with you. If they dont love and accept you just as you are, dont be afraid to tell em to take a hike. Above all else, be true to yourself body, mind and soul. You will find that honoring and respecting yourself in that way will more quickly result in attracting and experiencing a healthy, loving and fulfilling relationship like you never even dreamed possible. Warmest Regards,
Lisa Stuart Copyright 2006 The Love Attraction Expert |
