An important aspect of psoriasis is the emotional impact it has on its sufferers. Depression during outbreaks and happiness during remissions are normal, but affect both you and those around you. Understanding where these feelings come from and looking for ways to control them will help you and others around you.
Many experiences create your perception of yourself. You need to realize that the way you present yourself has a large impact on the way others perceive you. People tend to mirror emotions without realizing it. If you feel bad about yourself and act like it, others see that, too. Hold yourself high, enjoy life, and gather strength through your accomplishments, rather than your perceived shortcomings, and people will see a lively, energetic friend - not a psoriasis sufferer.
Your perception of yourself is based on three main factors: how you feel when you look in the mirror, how you think others see you, and how you interpret non verbal communication. The largest of these factors is how you feel when you look in the mirror because, in turn, this affects both of the other two factors. There are always multiple scenarios for every scene in life. You have to decide which scenario to choose. Following are two scenarios with exactly the same events; they only differ by the emotional projection:
1.Your psoriasis is acting up. You look in the mirror and decide that you look terrible; todays lunch date comes to mind. Remembering that you canceled the last date with this friend; you realize that you have to go whether you want to or not. Arriving at the restaurant, you snuggle down inside yourself, not smiling, not making eye contact, believing that people only see your psoriasis. Your tension bleeds into your table conversation, making it difficult for relaxation and forcing a quick lunch. Your friend seems to be in a hurry to leave. You think that your friend is embarrassed to be seen with your psoriatic condition. On your way home, you tell yourself that you should not have gone; you knew things would turn out that way. You now feel worse than you did when you first looked in the mirror this morning.
2. Your psoriasis is acting up. You look in the mirror you and see that while its not pleasant, it is not all of you. You keep this in mind as you get ready for a lunch date with a friend. Arriving at the restaurant, you hold your head high, back straight, smile, and make eye contact. Your friend realizes that you are probably suffering and she is impressed by the way you are handling it. Conversation at the table is lively and time passes enjoyably for both of you. By the time lunch must come to an end, both of you have had a relaxing visit and feel good about the date. You leave the restaurant happy to have seen her and feeling much better than you did when you looked in the mirror.
To replicate the second scenario, these things should be kept in mind:
YOU have to keep your feelings intact.
YOU have to make the decision to make it a good day.
YOU control your own emotional comfort level, by controlling your outward behavior and inner reactions.
YOU do have a debilitating condition, but that does not mean that everyone judges you on this condition.
YOU remember that for every mean and spiteful person you come across there are many more who are not.
YOU bury your negative experiences with positives.
YOU decide to lift someone's spirits every day and you will find that some old relationships are repaired and new ones are formed.
YOU find one thing to compliment about others- it creates a sense of well-being and comfort.
YOU can admit that you hurt, itch, etc, but keep the discussion about psoriasis to a minimum, conversing on brighter topics.
When alone, keep your mind as busy as possible. Set goals and use this time to accomplish them, rather than worrying about your psoriasis. Give yourself a rest from the worry; you will gain peace. Set goals concerning your disease,make a goal to apply for disability, then line out the steps you need to take (see www.socialsecurity.gov); make a goal to learn about new treatments for psoriasis, by being informed you are taking control.
The old adage, You must love yourself in order to find love, is very true. You can learn to love yourself at the same time you gather strength from others through your outward projection. Try it, just one day at a time. |
